Poladroid-ing my life

Here you have a peek into my life with the help of my handy Blackberry and Poladroid. Love it.

New haircut, I’m digging it.

Revolutionary Girl Madoka

(NOTE: Before you begin reading, you gotta know that this entry contains HUGE SPOILERS on both Shoujo Kakumei Utena and Maho Shojo Madoka Magica. Consider yourself warned :))

Maho Shojo Kakumei Madoka

Lately, mi inner anime girl is a bit on the loose, so I decided to watch new stories. I finished watching Puella Magi Madoka Magica about 15 minutes ago, and I am psyched. To be honest with you I expected something a bit darker and more violent, yet I am not disappointed by what I watched. It was perfect in a weird way, but mainly because it reminded me of my favorite anime: Revolutionary Girl Utena.

Almost as I started watching I noticed the evident (yet, somehow subtle) parallelisms between both of these animes, a feeling that grew deeper as I continued to watch the story. For those of you who are familiar with only one of them, let me explain:

Asides from the Pink haired protagonist, both of the stories deconstruct their genres in their own way: Utena challenging the typical boundaries of hyper-shoujo animes while messing with the character stereotypes of the Prince, the Princess and the Witch; Madoka doing pretty much the same with the magical girl archetypes such as the transformation, the Purity of the characters, the nature of the villains and (in the case of both Utena and Madoka) the happy ending.

Is there really a happy ending for these stories? The two stories end, without really ending anything, Akio still has plans to find new duelists to bring the Revolution to the world, the Magical Girls still fight against new demons, instead of witches and both of the characters end up falling victims of their destiny, sacrificing themselves for a greater good and the freedom of their fellow protector/protegé, being pretty much erased from almost everyone’s memory yet not really gone and still existing somewhere.

Both of the stories deal with existentialism, and the characters doubts about their place and the role they should play in the stories, tormented by their own desires, wanting to free all the other characters’ from their pain, and (for most of the story) completely unaware of the real meaning each duel/fight.

Funnily enough, both stories have blue haired characters sharing the name "Miki"

I don’t want to go detail by detail on how both of them have similar religious plots, and the way they play with the fairy tale archetypes, cause these are easily spotted. Also I am well aware of the differences between these two animes, I wouldn’t dare calling one a rip off of the other, but there are things, even small little details about the way the stories are presented that could draw some parallelisms:

1. The visual motifs.
   Utena is known for her early 90’s use of surrealism, Art Nouveau and strong references to Charles Rennie Mackintosh, while Madoka borrows from Art Deco, modern takes of surrealism, and Jan Lenica‘s art.
2. Shadow/Non talking characters
   Remember those scenes where you could only see Utena’s character’s shadow and even though their lips were not moving, you knew they were talking? Well, constantly you can see Madoka and the other magic girls communicating without moving their lips.Besides there’s a scene which I suspect to be a direct reference to Utena, since you can only see on frame Homura and Madoka’s shadow  projected in the floor with color, patterns and not moving their lips in the same fashion of Utena’s Shadow Girls.
   
3. The Dueling Arena
   Utena’s always-changing dueling arena, only available for those who possess a dueling ring, is mirrored by the Witches barrier, both of them changing depending of the opponent’s wish (the duelist, in the case of Utena, and the witches/puella magi in the case of Madoka)
4. The rose.
   This may be something insignificant, however, roses are a huge motif on Utena hinting the subtle sexuality of the story, playing a huge role during duels. In Madoka, you don’t really get to see any roses until the very end, when she decides to become a magical girl, her weapon of choice is an arch with a blooming rose on top.
   
   
5. Glasses
   This is pretty much ridiculous, but, asides from the fact Utena and Madoka have pink hair, did you notice how Anthy and Homura wear glasses, which they take off as their true conflicted personality emerges? Same goes with their hair. These changes emphasize of the sacrifices they are making for the sake of their destiny.

If there's ever a Madoka movie, I really hope she's not turned into a car.

For the most of it, I enjoyed it. Maybe not as much as I enjoyed watching Utena, but it was good. And in case you’re wondering. Yes, Madoka, does bring revolution to her world.

Want to read more about it?

Aimless Anime compares the symbolism on both stories.

The dreams

Last night I had a very weird dream, I can recall it completely, specially towards the end when it all started becoming one hell of a nightmare.

I’m not very keen on the idea of writing dreams online, I think dreams should remain privately out of blogs, cause all the appeal of blog reading to me lies on the voyeuristic idea of taking a peek into someone’s life, and even though dreams are part of everyone’s life, they do not satisfy the voyeur in me. Following this principle, I had tried to avoid writing about my dreams online, I won’t say I’m not guilty of this, I had written about my dreams about two or three times in the past 8 years (Yes, I’ve been blogging for over 8 years) but every time I’ve done it, it’s been just about a couple of sentences or a small paragraph regardless of how intense/strange/emotional the dream was.

This time, won’t be the exception. I feel like I really need to share/Vent over this particular dream.

I can’t really remember how my dream started, all I remember is me being at home, a weird home, not really my home, but I place I called home there, and my boyfriend coming over and telling me how we really, really must get married ASAP, he even took me to a weird-looking church underground, where I was treated like an hindu bride by faceless women, and then taken to the altar to him. There we were alone, none else was on that church and we started talking, which in my dream meant we were getting married. At this point, my friends, I am afraid, scared to hell actually, I am sure I don’t want to do that, I am sure I don’t what to get married at that point, not yet, I’m just not ready to go that way, and no matter what are the consequences, I have to let him know I love him, but can’t go through that yet, and I tell him. He says he understands, but seems sad, and then everything starts to crumble, everything starts to fall down, the church, the floor, everything, and when I notice I’ve lost him. He’s gone. I wake up.

I slept again after that, but my dreams were all hectic like a post-war sci-fi movie, and it was not really related.

I am a believer of dream meanings, not in the traditional “let’s look for ‘wedding’ in the dream-dictionary and see what will happen in the future” but more like an understanding of what is going on with my mind, my heart, fears, worries and everything, and based on all of this, this dream in particular really scares me. It’s not about the marriage thing, or maybe it is, I’m not sure. A couple of years ago, I felt I was more than ready to get it on, and was even engaged for a while, then it all ended and my whole perspective of marriage changed, I hadn’t considered it for years,even at this point, when I am more than happy about my relationship, my idea of ever getting married changes often and from one day to the other.

Yet… lately I’ve been under a lot of pressure about not living up to what is expected of me. I try not to think about it, but the fact that I am 25 yrs. old, had not finish my career (none of them), and that my generation is getting married, having kids, emancipating, enrolling in stable jobs and buying houses, while I try to get my way into freelancing, still rely on my family, I just engage myself in 5 more years of school, and even my mom’s been asking me when is she going to get a baby grand-kid. It’s really stressful.

I hate to complain about my life. In general, I adore my life, I am in this magnificent relationship in which I had not even had a single fight in one and a half years of us being together, we’re on the right track. I’m working my ass off in school, started my own business, and have been working on many projects that fill me with passion and joy. I am happy. Yet, I wonder. Am I accomplishing all this thing that make me so proud a little too late? Am I so in the right track as I think? Should I be getting married and having kids? Finding a stable job and forgetting my self-employment  dreams? Should I start to embrace that kind of life I despite so much? I say no.

I think my dream reflects this concern of mine. I am right now living a life I love, and I want to believe everything I want is possible, it’s not really that I don’ want to have all those ‘grown up stuff’, I want some of that, I can see the bliss of stability, I just don’t want it right now, but I guess, now that so much people around me is doing what is expected of them and fitting in the stereotype, I better get use to feeling like an outcast for trying to live the dream. And I better get a good ‘comeback’ for when people asks why am I being such an immature weirdo.

Amino Love and Acid Kisses

Silly thing I found today…

I HAVE to share. Yes, I am one of those who will be watching it very very soon. I can’t wait.

Like it’s Quidditch, like it’s quidditch… Now It’s stucked in my head.

5 silly things i’ve done right before turning 25… (day 2)

…which mainly consists on the last day, since my birthday is tomorrow (yeeppi!) So let’s see.

1. I got my last picture as a 24 yr. old: Yes I have a damn bloody eye, it’s because all this stress.
   
2. I watched Candyman, and I do have a strong opinion about it. I found it interesting, but I’ll talk about very soon,
3. I spent a few hours hugging my normally un-huggable cat. She’s so awesome, I also decided that if I do get a new cat, I’ll name Nanami, after Utena’s character Nanami, here you have her with Touga, her brother and my favorite character.
   
4. I *finally* got my  RFC. (You may not get this if you’re not from Mexico)
5. I got a new savings account. ❤ (i know, I am so lame that I get excited about things like this)

That’s it, I guess this is just me documenting my last day as a 24 yr. old, now let’s just wait for that quarter of life crisis to come. I guess this list got really self-centered, but hey… it’s just to remind me life is good, huh?

Love,