Sexthings…

I found this on HelloGiggles and thought of sharing since it touches a very sensitive fiber in my heart.

When I see things like this, I always feel a close-minded society tries to say “Hey, we told you not to express yourself sexually, see what happens when you do? It’s all your fault!” when the real damage is not caused by the actual sex implied, but the people turning it into something to be ashamed of.

Loving to see this perspective reflected here. I always think the whole “don’t take naked pictures of yourself, don’t make a home porn video” premise is incorrectly addressed.

Instead of bashing someone for capturing an intimate moment on camera, trying to live a healthy sex life by expressing their desires and sharing their fantasies with their lovers, people should bash the ones who maliciously inflict damage.

This whole “Naked on film” (any film) is something that makes me feel really upset, as I’ve done some art modeling in the past and even though I am in no way ashamed of it, it’s something that bit me in the ass about a year ago when it reached my family and I (sadly) discovered they didn’t share my views on it and even tried to guilt-trip me into feeling ashamed of myself, my actions and my sexuality. I am not, but I had a hard time dealing and coping.

I get really mad when I hear about Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Wena Naty (sorry but I’m not really up for googling her real name) and other girls going through the same experience. Why is people always saying “Oh, they shouldn’t have done it?!” when they are not the ones inflicting any damage? People should really think about who and what is the real bad in these scenarios, instead of simply making the girls the guilty ones cause they had sex and took record of it. That is the very definition of Slut-shaming, and it’s a sad, judgemental and unfair double-standard society loves to play.

When something like this happens to you, you are the victim, you are the one whose trust has been betrayed, yet you have to stand up and take the blame everyone’s putting on you. Not cool.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying “Go, send pictures of yourself to your boyfriend cause that is the healthy thing to do in a relationship. Trust no matter what!” . Don’t. Be judicious about it, if you are sure it’s something you want to do and you feel can trust the recipient, go ahead and rock it with confidence, but as I said: use your judgement.

But remember, nothing is fail-proof and it may come back and hurt you, but if it does, take it easy, don’t forget one simple action does not define you as a person, don’t go too hard on yourself, cause you’re the one whose confidence was betrayed, I promise eventually it all will go away.

This is kind of the unpopular opinion, yet, my two cents.

March 29th

I wrote this on Tumblr a few minutes ago. And I mean it. Join if you want.

How to drink tea, the Ponicorn way.

After last week’s post on how much I love tea, and tea becoming hipsters’ coffee and everything I started thinking a bit, lately, tea has become such a big deal in my life, it’s kind of eponymous of my current relationship, so having all of this in mind I felt a bit inspired to write this guide to drinking tea.

Why tea? I’m sure you can just type “Benefits of Tea” on Google and you’ll get a long list of awesome things that will happen to your body if you just start drinking tea. I won’t give you that. Yes, tea has a lot of antioxidants, has less caffeine than coffee and all that, but that is a given.

Let me tell you about my experience with tea.

I’ve been a tea drinker ever since I was a kid, both my parents are coffee drinkers and somehow didn’t want me to get the habit, so they made sure to always have a wide selection of tea herbs and bags at home, and I loved it so much, I never really go the hang of coffee, not even when I became a teenager and all of my friends wanted to go for a hot capu.

Coffee has always been bad for my body, I have to drink it with lots of cream and lots of sugar, it gives me headaches, makes me nauseous, shaky and I feel tired and sleepy after a while. I can drink it if I have to, but I hate the feeling so much, I prefer not to. Tea on the other hand, can either wake me up or help me sleep depending of what I’m having. I don’t need to drink it with cream at all, gives me lots of energy and I don’t feel it drop after a while.

“Lot’s of cream, lot’s of sugar” You and I, both, Mr. Wolfe

So, If you hadn’t yet, give it a try, it will give your metabolism a more natural boost.

To prepare tea, the Ponicorn way you will need:

• Tea cups
• Tea herbs
• Kettle
• Tea pot
• Tea bags
• Sugar
• Cream
• Infusers
• Killer company

Mix and match the way you prefer it: You won’t need tea bags if you have tea herbs and infusers; you won’t need sugar and cream if you dislike their taste on your tea and so on.

1. Boil your water, for this I use my tea kettle.
2. While your water boils, prepare either your tea bags or infusers with tea herbs.
3. Set your tea cups with tea deliciousness, pour the water let it sit for about 2-3 minutes.
4. Remove the tea implements, add sugar and cream if you like it that way.
5. Add the killer company or a nice solo time, and enjoy.

Extra Tips for Tea Lovers and Beginners.

• Know your preferences, know your tea – I love tea extra strong, with two bags or lots of herbs, but over the years I’ve learned that when I try a new brand of tea for the first time, I’d better go slow on it at first.
• Don’t be afraid to mix – My boyfriend once mixed peppermint, apple and cinnamon and we loved it so much it became a regular.
• Careful with Green tea – This is not very common, but it happened to me, so let me warn you: Some people can have a slight adverse reaction to green tea manifested in the form of a slight migraine, sometimes it varies depending on the brand you’re getting, sometimes your body gets used to it, but it’s really hard to know. My advice? Go Slow.
• Don’t limit your tea intake to hot beverages. – The taste of your regular hot tea changes dramatically when you turn it into a cold drink. Then again, don’t fear the experience.
• If you’re feeling frisky, you can do this:

I may write later about cool tea items to you can buy to make your tea drinking experience not only delicious but also visually appealing, but for now, you’re set to go. I hope you enjoyed reading my guide to tea drinking the Ponicorn way. Now if you excuse me, I’m going to have a nice cup of roses before going to bed.

Strawberry and vanilla kiss

What are you planning for 2011?

Resolutions, goals, plans, call them whatever you want, we all have them; you may hate the term ‘resolutions’ when it comes this time of the year, but truth is, we all are always planning, working, and hoping for something. Whether you keep yours as yearly resolutions or not (I do this, but actually divide most of my goals in six months plans), tell me, what is your list?

Mine is divided in two groups, Static and Ongoing. I consider the Ongoing to be the most important, it is constantly evolving and it goes pretty much like this:

• Eat more fruits – I am a terribly picky  eater, and I’m not really used to incorporate them into my diet. I’m not very tolerant of all of them, but I’ll try to eat them more. Even eating one everyday is a lot more than I do right now.
• Cut on my Candy addiction – I wrote about this on The 88 days project. Sadly I gotta say, this is one of the hardest goals for me to achieve, I have such a sweet tooth. Still, I’m not a quitter (even though this very goal involves quitting on something :P) and I will double my efforts for this
• Drink more water – I used to drink about 2 – 3 liters of water a day, but nowadays I barely drink any. I need to get that habit back.
• End my year with at least 3 important clients – Since I set my business, I’ve been procrastinating a bit on my networking, but I’m working on it already, I am working with 3 good clients right now, one of them a corporation that hired me in the past for a short project, and is willing to hire me again for a year-long project. I’m happy.
• Improve my web skills – During 2011 I’ll take a special course on this.
• Keep my life organized – I hate to admit it, but I’m one of those people who really needs to write a list of steps and plans of action to keep my life in place. This week I’ll be showing you guys how I’m planning to organize my Moleskine for this.
• Save money! – This goes hand in hand with cutting on my candy addiction, since most of my money goes on this. I’ll create a budget and I’ll stick to it. I already have a savings account.
• Try to finish one of my careers – If things go as I’m planning, this year will be my last year in school as an ‘under-pressure-student’ (meaning, my mom will finally get a title to brag about) don’t take me wrong, I love what I do, but I just want to get over with it. 😀
• Learn a new language – Portuguese to be precise. I already understand it a bit (since it’s so similar to spanish) but I want to be able to speak it, and since I was able to teach myself English, I try to do it to with Portuguese, We’ll see. 😀
• Keep the love in my life – As you guys know I’m in a relationship of over a year right now, I love this man more than I can possibly express, that’s why, I’m planning on a major relationship review soon, just to make sure everything is good and dandy. 😀
• Work out more!! – I’ve been postponing this for so long, and I need to really get my hands on it now.

On the other side, Static list involves things I just want to do and then be over with.

• Go to the dentist.
• Get out of debt.
• Buy a new camera.
• Clean my house and throw everything I no longer remember having.
• Get into as many classes as possible.
• Invest.

As you can see, in general, I think I need to pay more attention to my health, and work on school, everything else, will just come along.

To keep myself motivated and remember the things I want to do, I’ll copy this list on my Moleskine and also, my new journal and I’ll practice major manifesting (That Gala Darling podcast is seriously one of my favorites, I’ve heard it over a hundred times and it always serves a great inspiration) and EFT (One of the cool things about EFT is that you don’t have to believe in it, for it to work, so you guys should try it).

So, tell me, What are your plans?

I am…

… a ponicorn princess.
… quitting TV as a habit
… a full-time student, full-time investigator and a full time positive thinker
… planning a hell lot of things.
… deeply proudly organized
… not crying anymore… and it feels good.
… in love and fascinated by love. I can’t believe I am this deep into you.
… being proven wrong about some things that I found to be unfair, but out of my control
… feeling quite happy with the way my life is evolving.
… living so much, I didn’t remember how good it felt
… Tomie Kourai Aminoacido

… here…

Ponicorn Love and Aminoacid Kisses